The Problem with being Frisky

The other day we had "chatty, happy Maxine"  It was wonderfully weird.  But because she was feeling so good she was doing crazy stuff like getting up on her own.  After doing some crossword puzzles and talking and talking and talking she got up on her own, walked with her walker to the table and then I guess bent to reach something and FELL.  I was in the kitchen, the missionaries had just arrived for dinner and Rodger was doing something somewhere.  Floyd was the only witness and is not quick enough or strong enough to come to the rescue.                                                                 
 After  a quick assessment we decided everything worked and helped her up.  She was a bit shaken but still cheerful and talkative.  She asked the Elders about their girlfriends and what they were studying.  She was definitely engaging. 


At bedtime she was sore but okay and made it too bed okay, even if a little slower. While getting in she said to Floyd.  "I am so sore.  I feeling like I have been skiing for 3 weeks"


  About 10 pm I heard a thump and found her one the floor by the side of the bed.  Not cool.   She needed to go to the bathroom.  Another weird thing.  She never says that and is never excited about sitting on the toilet and now she is trying to go herself?  Scary but good.   In the morning Floyd reported that she woke him to take her to the bathroom another time.  Also scary because he is almost as unstable as she is.  Imagine a little walker train helping each other to the bathroom. 


Since then she hasn't been as happy.  We are chalking it up to soreness from the fall and are looking for the happy Max to return.  She is eating a bit better, and doesn't yell quite as much.  This morning was shower day and she wasn't too excited about that.  I think she told me that she was "not showering" at least 10 times. But we did it and it went pretty smooth.  After the shower while getting dressed she told me again that she was not showering so I told her she was lucky because we were already done. 


Tomorrow is church and getting in and out of the care.  Those are never fun for her.  We will see how it goes.  

It's a Miracle

This morning I went in as usual to greet Maxine.  She was talking, I heard only "glory hallelujah" "Hallelujah"  I said to myself, ready to start another bathroom, dressing battle for another day.  

Then I noticed the look on her face.  I went over to greet her.  She was pointing up to the ceiling and said, "can you see the flies up there? They are really quite interesting, they are crawling up into the tracks up there"  I looked up and said if  there were that many flies we needed an exterminator.  She continued to look and to smile and then to comment on the flies and how entertaining they were.  Then all of the sudden she said, 

"That Floyd, he really is neat, he is really a nice man"  I concurred saying, he really is.  She went on, 

"He has the patience of Job, An the something of someone else I can't think of right now"  She continued on for awhile, really quite pleasantly and I knew that something was different.  

The day went on, we did the shower with out too much fuss and did the hair and the breakfast and the pills.  She was a little more talkative than normal and then wow about 10:30 or 11 she perked right up, she began to notice what we were doing and to comment on  it.  Rodger and I were moving things out of my sewing closet, through the living room to put into the car, she watched with interest.  

Later we were working on a crossword puzzle and she was really into it.  Trying to fit the words she thought of into the provided spaces, with lots of creativity, I might add.  Then she started talking about her old house and that she was sort of sad to leave it after living there for so many years and I had to agree that it had to be tough for her and a big change.  She got a bit teary but handled it quite well and continued to talk, ( this is new and different)  

After lunch I helped her to the bathroom and she had a little accident.  I went in with clean undies and explained to to put them on I needed to talk off her shoes and pants but that we would put them back on and she actually said, "what ever you say",  I just about fell over.

After we were finished she said, "what would we do without friends?  I said we would be in big trouble.  No fighting, no protests, just pleasant conversation.  Wow!

Then we were looking at Floyd's phone and I showed he the contacts.  I read the names, One was a friend, Krissy,  She says, "Krissy, I wonder what she is up to lately".  I said, "do you want to call her?  She says sure.  So we dialed  the number.  Krissy was not end but she left a message.  Great stuff.

The was a short down side, I guess Rodger took them over to the new house while I took my mom visiting teaching and got my hair cut.  That didn't go so well and both Max and Rodger were pretty upset when they got back home.  But that was short lived at least on Max's part.  

Tonight she was all sweetness.  She even said that if she could choose, she would choose me.  She was talking to Ron on the phone and had a good conversation she even asked him some questions and kept talking to him.  I could tell that the call really brightened him up.  He sounded pretty beat when I answered but after talking to Floyd and Max he sounded much happier.  He sounded even better when he asked if there were still things at the house that he needed to take care of and I said it was all done.  Ah, relief!  

Dressing, bathroom, teeth brushing all went like a dream!  All I can say is that I am a believer in miracles and today was a big one.  

EATING

Eating has been a problem.  When Maxine sits at the table she looks at the food, after saying "I can't sit in that chair" and says, "I can't eat that"

After repeated conversations, albeit kind and couched and suggestive, about not motivating by fear, Floyd remains ultra concerned that Maxine is not eating enough.  He has threatened.  "eat that or I will shove it down  your throat", complained, "I am sick and tired of this, just eat!", demanded, "Eat" and continued other threats, commands and complaints.

After listened and trying to control myself for a long time this morning and being sort of stressed out because Mary is running the Boston marathon currently and I am having a  hard time thinking about anything else, I went out to say something.
Me:  "I think we can all relax a little, as long as she eats some things at every meal she will be just fine.  She doesn't have to eat everything"
Floyd:  "The only reason she has eaten anything is because I have fed it to her"
Me:  "Well, eating should be a pleasant experience, perhaps if we just had some pleasant conversation while eating she would just do it at her own pace"
Floyd:  "She always does this"
Me: Well I think that eating should be a pleasure and not forced.  I think all these demands might be creating some sort of power struggle"  I think we should try and make it more pleasant and pleasurable."
Floyd;  nothing

I walk back into the kitchen and Floyd says to Maxine, "Now eat! Don't put that fork down until  you have finished everything!"

I decided to write about it instead of saying anything else. But while I am typing I hear continued demands.  "Keep eating and drink  your juice!  Can  you hear me? Then start eating"

I wouldn't want to do it either and I love to eat.

So the madness continues.

We're Working On It

This week has been a series of ups and downs. It started with a vow to only say loving things in a calm and quiet, encouraging way.  It didn't take me long to lose it the first time or the second, but there were some minor victories too.

We took Maxine to physical therapy twice this week.  After the first visit, Wednesday,  in which she was extraordinarily subdued, the therapist suggested strongly that we buy her some good walking shoes.  It worked like a miracle.  Almost from the first minute she had them on she was walking much more heel toe instead of just on her toes like she has been doing.  She has just been wearing bedroom slippers since her accident last year.  It makes me wonder why none of her California therapist or doctors had the same brilliant idea.


We got home  from PT, just in time to make them some lunch and make an appointment at the new house at 2:00 to sort of think about furnishings, like what things will work and what  things won't. We took Floyd because I thought he would love to get out of the house.  I tried to find someone to sit with Max but no luck so we left her sitting in the recliner, she was sleeping when we left.  I wasn't aware, I guess, that this made Floyd nervous and about as soon as we walked around the house one time he was ready to go.  I sort of stalled him for awhile and that was a mistake because he started talking about us bringing his pink leather couches to put in the living room.  Noooo!  Ron describes them as corpulent flesh that would envelope you when you sit in them. Since he said that, I can only describe their color as flesh, not pink, not tan, just flesh.  They are just ugly! (in my opinion)

After that great idea he walked into the lovely office space in just off the front door and said, "what is this room for".  I suggested an office or study.  He said, "I supposed we could put the fold  out couch in here in case someone wanted to stay over.  Wow!  By then he was tired and really nervous so we left, no measurements taken, no solid ideas.  Just a ride home with more bad ideas.  I started to inwardly panic about the weirdest looking collection of bad furniture in the world in that pretty new house.  These situations are bad for me because I alternate between, "it is his house and it shouldn't matter to me", to.  "why am I worried about it anyway?", to "I don't want to have weird stuff in my house at age 61", to "Why am I so proud that it matters?"  It is still a struggle.  Mostly I am trying to remember that it is their house and I am just going to live in the basement.  It is such a pretty house though. . . .

 After that I ran to Costco and Big 5.  Costco for some groceries for my mom and dad and Big 5 to buy the new shoes for Maxine.

That accomplished  I went to my parents house to deliver the groceries and found them both peering into the refrigerator.  Unusual.  Usually they are  both sleeping on the couch in the afternoon.  But not that day.  They were both digging around in the fridge.  I said hi and "what's up". Note the self control, "not waht in the heck are you doing?"  Mom said something like, "Look at all this food."  I said are you looking for something?  Mom said no but "look at all this food, will you help us eat it?"  I asked if they were hungry as I had dropped off some beef stew earlier in the day and asked Ana to fix it for lunch, she had sent a text to say that they loved it and they ate it all.  It was pretty hearty so I was sort of surprised that they would be hungry.  Mom then said that dad was and they were looking for something for him.  But she was pretty preoccupied that their was so much food in the fridge and that the Clarks had dropped off a bunch of stuff and "wasn't that nice of them" and why do they do that do you think?"  Well I got my groceries put away and we fixed a snack of fruit and cheese and a glass of root beer and got them settled back on the couch.  I was thinking about dinner and what I was going to make and that I needed to go make it and that Rodger was going to the church that night and so I would get to do bedtime and I sort of got myself all ramped up.

I was home slamming things around when Rodger came around the corner.  I thought he would have left already but he didn't because I wasn't there and when he noticed the state I was in he said he would just stay home and I said go and he said no and that made things worse.  He was supposed to meet the missionaries and Br. Kurt Nichol for a discussion and I felt terrible to let my frustration interrupt that.  He finally left and I made dinner.  He came home, we ate, I cleaned up, he left and I stayed out of the way for awhile.

Maxine was fast asleep in the chair when Floyd started getting ready for bed so I had to wake her to say, "lets get ready for bed"
"No, I don't want to go to bed" she said
"you are just sleeping in the chair, you would be more comfortable in bed" I offered
"No! I don't want to go with  you"
"Floyd is waiting for you in bed" I coax
"Floyd doesn't even like me" she says
"Sure he does" I say as a begin to lift her up and we toddle off towards the bedroom.  She started veering towards another chair.
"I am going to sit in this chair"
"No you are going to the bathroom and brush your teeth and get your nightgown on" I redirect the walker.
" I am not sitting on that toilet"
"Yes, Yes you are"
"It is too far down"
"No, you have done it many times already"

You get the idea.  The other day at the doctor, After the doctor had listened to a different but similarly frustrating exchange she said.  "You know it might seem rude, but you don't have to answer her.  You can see that it doesn't make a difference if you do or if you don't"

We it does seem rude to me and I did decide to try and act with more love and kindness after the conference broadcast last Saturday so I still answer. But we don't get very far.  Finally though the bathroom duty was done, the nightgown on, the teeth brushed, and she still protesting was in bed.  One of her favorites is, "Jeanne, why are you doing this to me?"  Sigh of relief, and we're done for another day.

Thursday, work was looking like a vacation, and Friday and Saturday.  I have a whole new perspective on working.  At least my patients there do not come home with me.  No matter how rude or uncooperative or whining or abusive, they are just temporary.

I did have an interesting exchange with a cancer patient on Friday night.  I was breaking her nurse who reported that she was mean and really grumpy, so grumpy that her daughter had gotten out of there as fast as possible.  I went in to check  on her fluids because I was supposed to hang another bag.  The first, I discovered was still full, the tubing still clamped.  (great nursing) So, as I unclamped it and hung a second,  I  talked to her.  She wanted to know what I was doing (valid) and what was going on with her case (valid) she did sound grumpy.  She was cold, I brought her some warm blankets and tried to raise some small pleasant talk.  Then she says out of the blue.  "do you ever meet people who are nice here?"  She apologized for being gruff and said that she was just sick and scared and that made her more defensive.  It gave me insight and awareness.  Maybe Maxine is scared and just doesn't know how to say it.  Maybe that is why she is rude and defensive.

Yesterday was conference.  I put it on at my parent's and listened before work and on my way and at lunch the talks were great.  Elder Hales talked about becoming a disciple.  He used Paul's teaching about adding to temperance, kindness and to kindness virtue and to virtue brother love. . . I am paraphrasing of course, but he spoke about each attribute and how incorporating these successive attributes would not only bring us closer to Christ but make us more like him.

It was with this thought that I began "shower day" with Maxine.  She really has a thing about showers.  Just about every time she sees the shower she exclaims loudly, "I am not getting in the shower".   It was no different on Sunday morning.  When she protested I tried to say with kindness, that yes we were going to have a shower.  She asked repeatedly why I was doing this to her.  I explained that after a shower she would feel so much better and that her hair would be shiny and clean and that she would smell good.  The protests and assurances went on through the shower and the drying and the dressing.  I was holding it together pretty well until. . . I was down on the floor putting on her shoes.  She doesn't help too much like a little kid who doesn't really want the shoes on.  As I was tying the second one she said.  "There is Jeanne with her boobs hanging out"  I said they weren't but then I looked down, probably from her perspective and yes, she probably could see right into my jammie top.  I took a breath, thought about love a bit, and gritted my teeth a bit.  I said that indeed, I had not dressed myself yet, or combed my hair or taken a shower or anything quite yet because I was helping her.  It is good that you can't see gritted teeth and hear my clipped explanation while reading.  I wasn't perfect for sure.


We did have a Sunday miracle again though.  About the time my parents came over she sort of picked up and when they walked in she said "Well hello Lucy, how are you guys doing, so nice to see you".  She was pleasant most of the way through dinner and in spite of declaring that she couldn't eat that food, she picked at her plate until the vegetables were gone and some of the potatoes and some of the fruit.  She even ate some ice cream.  It got a bit weird about then,  "Floyd" she says, "I am eating ice cream".  Nothing.  "Floyd, I am eating ice cream, is that okay?"  "yes" he says.  She got a little more withdrawn after that.  The parents visited for awhile while I did the dishes.  They seem to enjoy themselves which is pretty funny because three of them don't hear well and my dad who does hear does not follow conversations well.  He did laugh at some funny stories and that was nice  to hear.

All and all things ended a bit better than they started.  No major blow outs, no major disasters.  The house sales are both progressing.  We are starting to make some plans for moving.

I will carry on, listening to conference and progressing, watching  hopefully until that perfect day.

Ups and Downs

When  your blood glucose is 40, they let you eat anything and everything you want.Here's Floyd with cheesecake on one side and a chocolate shake on the other. 

So this week was crazy. . . . Let's just say first up.  Maxine is not  happy to be here and is displaying some pretty drastic signs of pathological depression.  Hallucinating, not eating, not sleeping, refusing to perform any amount of self care, complaining when someone else tries to do it for her.  We have had many discussions and I am sorry to say not all of them motivated by love on my part but I am working on that.

The real excitement happened on Thursday night.  Rodger heard Floyd call out to him and found him on the floor.  He said something about the floor being slippery.  Weird.  He also so that he seemed confused.   Soon after  he got up again and fell again this time hitting his head.  Rodger came in to report that he was acting really strange and saying weird things and what should we do.  Well he takes a blood thinner and as an ER nurse who has seen bad stuff I naturally thing he must have a bleed and we need to get out of bed and call an ambulance.  Rodger decides to watch him for awhile and sleeps or more like lays on the couch and listens to him alternately breathing and muttering incoherent stuff.  Finally early in the morning hours we call an ambulance and the guys come and do their stroke exam.  Floyd's speech is slurred, he is disoriented, he is listing to the right and thinks he is upright.  All strange behaviors.  Unfortunately the battery on their glucometer doesn't work.  I don't get too upset about that because I am thinking bleed and perhaps they should just go to Harborview because that is were we send out bleeds.  Anyway on arrival to the ER they check his glucose level, that's what we do for strokes/bleeds and his is 40.  Super low.  They give him an amp of dextrose and viola he is back to normal.

All goes well, except a repeat glucose level and they send him home.  I give him his meds upon arrival, have lunch and go to Costco to pick up a glucometer.

All goes well until the pre dinner glucose level, that is 47.  We give  him juice, then dinner, lasagna etc. and desert.  2 hours later before bed his glucose is 42.  I make him drink an Ensure and say we will check it again in 20 minutes.   This time it is 47.  Not cool.   So I call the on call doctor to see what I can do about it.  He says to take him back to the ER, to find out if it is real.  Well that gives us ideas about the glucometer we got for free.  I check my level, 87.  Normal.  Rodger checks his, 90, also normal.   I call the ER and ask for the nicest doctor there.  I get Dr. Zwart, a nice one.  He is kind and takes some time to talk to me and tells me to bring him in.  We check his level again at 10:30 and it is 31.  So after a quick glass of OJ we pack him in the car.  I have a pocket full of mints and keep feeding them to him all the way to the ER.  On arrival he is 40.  Great juice.  

After an amp of dextrose and 15 minutes his level is back to 31.  Not normal.  They give him another and start him on a 5% drip.  About 1:30 we head home for some sleep and he is admitted with hourly dextrose and a 10% drip.  No one can figure out the mystery.

 

 

The contents of the pill box for Saturday

So the pharmacist comes to his room and asks about his meds, any changes, anything look any different?  Perhaps  you could go home and get the actual things he takes and let us look at them.  Rodger went back to the hospital but forgot to take the pill dispenser.   This is the picture I sent him and he showed it to the pharmacist.  See the little rectangular one?  That is the culprit.  Amaryl, an oral diabetic medicine.  Why he had it or where it came from I don't know.  When I looked at the bottle, the script was from 2012 and should have been tossed in 2013 but no.  

Free At Last

We brought him home today and he was pleasant and agreeable through the whole ordeal.

Maxine is another story.  She does not like me and tells me often, She is unhappy to be here and lately has stopped eating unless I trick her into it.  If I just put something snacky beside her she will absent mindedly eat but at the table with food.  No way.  She doesn't want to be dressed or undressed or walk or sit on the toilet.  She asks me "What have I ever done to you?" at least 20 times a day.  Lately her thing has been to say, "Jeanne, I really do not like you" I told her that was okay.

Last night I got a little steamed and had to get over it.  I listened to the Women's broadcast.  The messages were really great but pretty far from my present mindset.  One sister talked about not leaning on the world but being centered in Christ.  Another talk was about Holiness in every minute, nope not me, at least not that day.  The last Sister talked about Certain women, Certain and sure of their testimonies and commitment to Christ.  I could agree with that one.  The thing that really got we was a story President Eyring told.  He said that many years ago his little boys were jumping off their bed or doing something that was blatantly wrong and he said he went in and picked him up by the shoulders and raised him to eye level.  He then said he heard the Spirit say. "you are holding someone important".   I have been thinking about that ever since.  Maxine is someone important in God's eyes and she should be that to me.  I have had a better day today.  I haven't lost my temper.  I have tried to be more loving.  I have even told her I loved her a few times in response to her question, "Jeanne, why do you hate me?"  I am not perfect and I am saying it so I will feel it and believe it.  I am working on it.  We should all think of those we meet with that voice of the Spirit in our heads and heart.  This is someone important.  

Wow! am I tired

It might not look like much unless you had seen the before picture.

So tonight is Sunday.  Last Sunday night at about this time we were passing the airport heading to Walnut Creek to go clean and stage Floyd and Maxine's house.  The open house was scheduled for the next Saturday ( that was yesterday now).  We had planned to leave much earlier but one thing led to another and we didn't really get out of the house until 8:30 or a bit later.

We stayed overnight in Eugene.  Thanks to hotwire we got a deal on a hotel room with a nice bed and great free breakfast and got on the road pretty early the next morning.

The trip was smooth with just one detour to view Mr Shasta from Lake Siskyou.  It was beautiful, worth the time for sure.

Craig had arrived at the house on Saturday and and had started sorting.  The dining room table was full of "treasures" there were stacks of stuff everywhere.  The rooms where full, the closets full, shelves full, cupboard and drawers full.  It was pretty overwhelming.  Jon came over and helped for awhile but we weren't too organized.  We tried to make some headway but didn't get too far, then we had to go get something to eat.  Ron came and we went to dinner.  By the time we got there I was starving and could have eaten anything and everything. I did sort of fill up on chips and salsa.  I admit that.

Tuesday, lets see. . . . More cleaning and packing and sorting.  Wednesday, I sort of had a meltdown.  Rodger had been busy running for boxes and going to the bank and running to Goodwill, all valuable things but I had been stuck packing and carrying boxes and trying to make decisions about stuff that wan't mine and by Wednesday when I was out of boxes and dad was running around and then taking Craig to the airport I had to call him and say "I am done doing this by myself" and hung up.  I think I was tired or something.  Anyway he came back and I calmed down and we just got back to work.

A small sample of a huge shoe collection

That day two sisters from the ward came and one cleaned the hallway bathroom.  It look better than when I saw it first in 1977.  Then they started in on Floyd's office.  The desk was mounded with papers, the floor was covered in papers and boxes.  The couch was covered in all kinds of stuff, clothes, paper, books, boxes.  You get the idea, complete chaos and stuff.  Well they boxed stuff and sorted stuff and took them out of the room.  The wiped off stuff and rearranged until it looked like an office again.  Some how that made all the difference with just two rooms cleaned by whole outlook changed.  Suddenly the whole thing looked possible.   I wanted to kiss them both it was just so great.

After this little epiphany I sort of decided to just tackle one place at at time and that was pretty successful.  It was easy to get distracted and get caught up in other stuff but by and large I tried to do it and little by little things got cleaned up and cleaned out.

Jon had come over Monday night and helped a bit and also gave us the name of a young man, named Dan,  in his ward that might help out.  Rodger contacted him and he came on Wednesday and was amazing.   He did not look like a hardworking guy, sort of chubby, bespeckled nerd sort.  But he just got to it and worked like crazy.  There was a BIG pile of yard was and construction was and 50 years of broken stuff and old lawn furniture.  We had a dumpster delivered and the pile was supposed to go into it.  Well Dan turned out to be amazing.  He and some brothers from the ward got the pile into the dumpster.  After that Dan asked what else we needed help with.  Rodger and I got this big idea to pull up the dirty carpets from the bedrooms and the living room.  Dan said fine and went to work.  Another brother from the ward helped for awhile and two missionaries came to offer their service.  It made all the difference!


We found some treasures along the way but mostly it was just dusty stuff.  Being pretty unsentimental about my own stuff and more unsentimental about other people's it was pretty easy for me to just donate most of it to Goodwill or give it away to whoever wanted it.  If Maxine ever comes back to herself and asks what happened to her 75 pair of shoes or all her clothes and jewelry I will be in big trouble.

Ron calls this the spudnick pattern, it is really celestial, lots of place settings, Interested?  Call me.  

Friday Rodger stopped on the way back from Goodwill and brought back lunch about 3:00.  The house was mostly clean, just some floors to mop and the car to pack. So we sat in the sunshine and ate our Chipolte, not really minding that we were terrifically off schedule.  We were both pretty happy and satisfied with all we had accomplished.

Last things the floor, counters and put away stuff

And we're done, at least for now

A Sunday Miracle

And it was a Miracle!

Update.  Floyd and Maxine arrived with Rodger on Saturday night.  The transition for me began on Sunday morning. 


Rodger woke up and got ready for his meetings.  I had trouble sleeping and still not having too much luck by the time Rodger was leaving so I got up and had a shower and got ready, fixed the pot roast.  By then Floyd came out in his PJ's pushing his walker.  We got him down the stairs walker and all and fixed some breakfast.  He is smiley and grateful. 


I attempted to get Maxine up.  She flatly refused.  She wondered loudly what that awful picture was on the wall.  (one of my watercolors) and what the terrible thing in the ceiling was.  (the sky light).  She loudly told me she did not want me to take her to Seattle.  I told her that unfortunately she was already here.  It didn't start well. 


Finally, I told her that I needed to get my parents ready for church and I left her wet in the bed. 


Things went pretty smooth at the parents.  They were up when I came in.  We got ready pretty fast, no showers today.  Just some shaving for dad and teeth brushing for both.  A little hairdressing for mom.  My tie tying skills are still pretty sketchy.  I can only do it on one side but unfortunately can't remember which side that is.  We were out the door by 9:45 and that was good considering I didn't get there till after 9.  I made the excuse of needing to brush my teeth to run home and check on the Picketts.  


Gratefully, Rodger had come home.  Max was sitting in a chair at the table ignoring her cereal.  I brushed my teeth and told Floyd I would be back after sacrament meeting.   I wondered about her just sitting there but what can you do?  


Fast forward.  Sacrament meeting was good.  I must have been seeking help and I found it.  I listened to testimonies.  All the folks who spoke have been through some tough things, yet they were all strong and grateful and committed.  I am no different.  Before I left that morning Maxine yelled to me.  "I don't want it to be hard"  Well, we all get hard stuff and we try to handle it with grace.  The grace I am seeking is the grace the Savior gives, to do the things we otherwise would be unable to do.  I found some of that in testimony meeting.


After the meeting I got my parents settled in Sunday School class and dashed home to my new flock.  Maxine was still in the chair, still soaking wet.  So in spite of loud protestations we "walked" into the bathroom, took off the wet and put on the dry.  While trying not to brush her teeth, Maxine wailed, "I look terrible!"  I concurred and proceeded to brush her hair.  More loud wailed ensued but it got all fixed up in a little bun, out of her face.  Yeah!  I fixed some lunch that she nibbled at, tried to get them interested in something to now avail and went back to pick up the parents. 


On the way home I noticed,  my mom comment on the beautiful sky, my dad's cute smile and their gratitude for the rides to church and the help getting ready.  They tried to send me home with rootbeer and extra food.  Food that I had delivered to their house earlier in the week.  They ate toasted cheese and vegetable soup.  I thanked them for their pleasant attitudes.  We made an arrangement to eat dinner at my house about 4:30 and I left them eating their lunch.  Mom told me "You know I can do some of the work around here now"  I am sure she could.  I will have to talk to Ana about that. 


The afternoon was pretty quiet.  Rodger got home at about and we talked to some of the kids on facetime.  I tried to involve Floyd and Maxine.  I think he enjoyed it but she was pretty stoic and very passive.  I am not sure how she could resist Olivia and James and Owen but she did it. 


I picked up my parents at 4:30 and charged them with a task.  I asked them to keep the conversation going and to be pleasant and happy.  AND THEY WERE SO GREAT!  My dad clapped for Maxine as she made it to the table (wailing).  My mom told her how she had had to use a walker and how much she hated it.  She also said it was terrible to have "strange people in your house when we were talking about her physical therapy.  She also reminisced about my reception and how Floyd and Maxine came to Edmonds for that and "how nice it was to see you then".   Above and beyond Lucy!  In the middle of all this pleasantness there was some  inappropriate outbursts from Maxine but by and large it was a great dinner.  I was so proud of my parents.  My dad tried to hold her hand and pat it.  My mom patted her on the shoulder.  ( she sort of got yelled at for that) But the gesture was priceless.  They really rose to the occasion.  When I took them home I told them thank you a bunch of times.  We put on Singin in the Rain and I would have stayed and watched it with them but felt like I should go back up Rodger for bedtime. 


We were both pretty wiped so when Floyd was getting ready for bed we got Maxine ready for bed too.  She "was not going to go to bed" or "sit on that toilet" or anything else we suggested but she did them all. 


We are wondering how the next two months will go.  I spent the day today

intermittently working and calling for primary care in psych services.  I did give Floyd a haircut this am and Rodger went looking for some new pants for him. 


There are more miracles I am sure.  We will just have to look for them. 

Thursday morning,   Things are looking up!

Another Sunday Afternoon

I thought I would start writing this blog a couple of years ago when my daughters, Annie and Becca were faithfully blogging their family history and it was so much fun to read.  Well,  This is my first post.  The girls have since turned to instagram.  Do to the business of their family situations their histories are condensed into pictures with witty captions that capture family events.  They are still fun to read and still keep us up to date with major events but lacking sadly in detail.

Over the last five years Rodger and I have bought three houses and sold two of them.  We are now living in Edmonds but the house we own is in Utah.  We are both caring for aging parents.  The Picketts stubbornly remaining in their house in Walnut Creek and my parents firmly planted in their house in Edmonds.  To thicken the plot Rodger was called to be bishop last August.  That put a stop to his working in the temple with me and limited his trips to California to care for parents. It has given him a real opportunity to serve and teach.  He is a great teacher and has brought some energy and an emphasis on love to the ward.  It has been a great blessing to us and to the ward.

Years ago when Rodger was working for Novus but being courted vigorously by Dave and Cindy to move to PA and work for them, Rodger asked the whole family to start praying about what we should do.  The kids complied of course.  I did not.  I thought that once I prayed and got the answer I would be obligated to obey.  I did not want that obligation.  So early one afternoon Rodger showed up at home.  Unusual, right?  I said, "What are you doing home?"  Rodger said, "he fired me".  Nine year old Bill said, "Well dad, you asked us to pray about moving to PA and we all felt good about it, I guess God had to fire you so you would get it straight." I have been thinking that Rodger had to get called to be bishop so he would get it straight that we should stick around here.  To complicate matters our house was for sale when he got called.  Not much was happening with the house and we thought we would just let the listing run out.  Well we got a cash offer before Christmas and accepted it and now it is sold.  Now we just need to figure out a place to live.  In the meantime we are getting lots of input from my brothers who think my parents should be somewhere besides their house and some of them think things need to be decided.

So my Sunday miracle today was finding my mom's hearing aid.  She was complaining a few weeks ago that she can't hear and can't see and can't remember.  Well I said you can see right?  She said yes and she said yes she could see with glasses.  And then I said, "you do have a hearing aid, you could start wearing that".  She said, "I do?  Where is that?"  I thought is was in her drawer and went to retrieve it.  I found the case, empty.  I found the batteries.  But no hearing aid.  I have sort of been on the lookout since.  Today she was frustrated that she could not hear in Sunday school or Relief Society.  So when we got back to their house I started thinking about where she might have taken it out and started looking around in the other bedrooms because occasionally she gets up in the night and changes beds.  Well I found it in my sister Mary's old room, on the dresser, plain as day.  I replaced the battery and viola she could hear!!!!   Fabulous.  We spent the afternoon watching a video Kelly made in 2006 of my dad's 80's birthday celebration at the Lake house.   My dad got a little emotional.  I think it is good for them to do those kinds of things that trigger their memories.

I am glad they are still here even though they need help with most basic activities.  ADL's as nurses say.  I help them get ready for church every Sunday morning and I have to say I am getting pretty good at shaving my dad and tying ties.  They are very grateful for every act of service they receive from us so it is very sweet work I do.

I am not sure the point of this post but I want to remember the time I spend with them during this stage of their lives as well as when they were their true selves and leading out in service to us and the church and the community.  They were both constantly busy with church work, family and my dad with his practice.  They will be difficult to top for sure.